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Talking about ADHD: Family, teachers, doctor and friends
Approaching a Sensitive Issue
Because ADHD is largely a behavioural disorder, it can affect interactions with other people, such as family and friends, healthcare professionals, teachers, and colleagues. At the same time, approaching the subject of ADHD can be challenging, because we do not always know the best way to do this.
Talking with healthcare professionals
Talking to teachers
Talking to the family
Talking with healthcare professionals
If you suspect your child may be exhibiting signs of ADHD, there are many people you can turn to for help. Many families start by talking with their child's paediatrician or family doctor. Some paediatricians may assess the child themselves, but more often, they will refer you to a specialist.
Within each specialty, individual doctors and mental health professionals differ in their experience with ADHD. Therefore, when you select a specialist, it is important to find someone with specific training and experience in diagnosing and treating the disorder.
Knowing the differences in qualifications and services can help you choose someone who will best meet your needs. There are several types of specialists qualified to diagnose and treat ADHD.
If an evaluation reveals that your child may be affected by ADHD, medication is often considered as a therapeutic alternative. If medication(s) are prescribed, it is important to talk to your child's doctor about the process for determining the best dosage, frequency, and time(s) of day for taking the medication. It may take several adjustments to get medication targeted to your child's individual needs during school, after school, on weekends, and during the summer.
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Talking to teachers
San Diego, CA (US) teacher Sandra Rief, a 20-year special education teacher, author, and classroom expert on attention issues, offers insights on talking with teachers about ADHD in an article published in NEA Today. She notes that it is helpful if you ask teachers to describe specific behaviours and observations they may have made about your child. Keep the following in mind during your conversation:
- Ask about various interventions and techniques they're using to help the student. For example, a teacher might tell you that your child is distracted in class, and that he or she has difficulty staying on task for more than two or three minutes during seat work.
- Ask if your child's seating can be changed so that he or she may sit closer to the teacher.
- Ask if a reduced amount of required work could make things more manageable.
- If your child's teacher indicates that your child has a very difficult time making a transition from one subject or task to another, ask the teacher if it is possible to prepare your child before activities change and if there can be extra assistance given during those challenging times.
Developing a formalised plan
Contact the school about qualifying for a formalised education plan. The plan could include:
- Allowing more time to complete assigned work or tests.
- Having a tutor or in-school aide help the student master specific academic subjects.
- Breaking complex or long-term projects into more manageable steps.
- Rewarding appropriate behaviours.
- Making it easier by taking oral or recorded tests.
School-home report card
A school-home report card keeps a daily log of behaviours that can be shared with parents after school. Russell Barkley, a professor in the College of Health Professions at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston (US), calls the daily school-home report card "one of the best strategies for helping kids with attention deficit that I've seen in 20 years."Barkley suggests listing a desired behaviour - for example, "cooperates with peers" - on a file card or piece of paper, then creating blank columns for the individual behaviours to complete a daily rating system. The card is then forwarded to parents each night.
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Talking to the family
Family plays a large part in the support and management of ADHD. However, family members often struggle because children with ADHD frequently adopt 'power' roles within the family that give them a sense of control. On the other hand, children with ADHD may feel powerless, and view themselves as helpless and at fault. These children may often be teased in peer groups. This in turn reinforces a negative view of themselves and their situation.
It is important to help your child break out of negative roles by responding in ways that promote healthy interactions within the family. Educating and involving siblings in the ADHD experience can be critical to achieving healthy change. The more siblings understand about ADHD, the more accepting and supportive they will be.
Often a sibling will feel left out, believing that the child with ADHD commands all the attention. Bringing the family together in ways that allow everyone to constructively express grievances and resolve issues can benefit all family members. It is also important for parents to spend one-on-one time with each child in the family to maintain bonds and feelings of acceptance.
Read more about Caring for Children with ADHD - Resource Toolkit
